Relationship with God

Relationships aren't always easy. In fact, they're usually not easy. Especially when it's a relationship with someone you really love and care about. There is a lot of work in keeping it alive.

I'm not very good at keeping up friendships. And really most relationships in general.
Though there are a few that I have been mostly successful with. And those ones were the tough. Wonderful and rewarding in the end, but tough.

One of these difficult relationships is my relationship with God.

It is the most important relationship I could ever have, and it is turning out to be the hardest one.

Maybe it's the way I was raised, but I seem to have something, like a wall, in the way of understanding what it means to really have a relationship with God. I haven't really tried until recently, so it's sort of a new, foreign and sort of scary thing to me.

It's so easy to stumble, wander off the path, and get distracted by bright, shiny objects.

In the past few weeks, I've been trying so hard to figure out how to break down this wall. Not just get over it; break it down completely. 

I've tried so many times and I fail just as many times to keep up this relationship and break down my walls and finally get it right.
But no matter how many times I mess up and slip, He's always there to pick me back up again. Even when I feel like I'm not good enough or can't go on, He's there to tell me I can do it and takes my hand.

Friends don't always do that. Friends, family, close relationships, they can come and go. Some will turn their backs on you, some will treat you unfairly. Promises can be broken, hurtful words can be said.

But when you are seeking that relationship with God and He is by your side, He never leaves us or forsakes us.

Wow.

Of course, this is something a lot of us already know. Yeah sure I know God is never going to leave me  and He will always be there.
But you don't actually understand what it means until He is really the only one you have left. When everyone and everything else fails. That's when you truly appreciate and feel it.

So yeah, I'm not the best at relationships. And my relationship with God is a struggle and sometimes I just want to drop it and walk away when it seems hopeless. But He hasn't dropped me when I got so stubborn and couldn't just obey and listen to Him. He died the most terrific death to take my sins away so I could be with Him. I've heard the story thousands of times, but when you realize and understand the full and true meaning, it's mind blowing. So why would I (or anyone for that matter) give up when I  stumble and fall when He was tortured and killed so I could get back up again?

It baffles me yet I constantly find myself here in this situation time and time again. I know I'm not the only one.

So even though I'm still struggling and I haven't made much progress, it gives me peace knowing that He's here with me to guide me in the right direction.

Thank you Jesus for being here when all else has failed. You wait here by my said until I remember to take Your hand again, Even if everyone else has continued on, You're always there. Wow. Thank you.

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”